"A girl, she really got to eat, and a girl she should eat right…"

Footloose I could have done without, but Flatliners was killer. Sleepers, Mystic River, The Woodsman? Phenomenal. Wild Things, Hollow Man? Not so hot. But what I found myself playing this weekend was a game so close, and yet so far from one we’ve come to know and love—it was Six Degrees of…..well……plain ol’ Bacon. And this is how innocently it started:
1.    Son is in a mood for chocolate cupcakes
2.    I relent, but don’t want boring, dull, uninspired chocolate cupcakes
3.    In a moment of reliving youth, I birth a brainchild I decide to call Fluffernutter Cupcakes, and smile
4.    Not quite fulfilled with the decision, I wonder what more I can do to the idea
5.    Roaming the fridge, I stumble upon some Boar’s Head smoked bacon and smile, more widely this time
6.    An hour later, Wench Frankenstein has her latest creation: Chocolate Fluffernutter Cupcakes topped with bacon that has been caramelized in brown sugar and chocolate stout

For those of you wackos that have no idea what a Fluffernutter is, culinary history would tell you that it’s a sandwich made with Fluff (jarred marshmallow) and peanut butter. The salty/sweet combination is ethereal, and harkens back to carefree childhood afternoons when your mom would still cut the crusts off the bread for you (mine never did, but that’s what a therapist is for). In a futile attempt to recreate youth—not mine, mind you, as I was raised by a Cuban family that was clueless about the allure of Fluff and often shoved an empanada in my face instead—I set out to build a better cupcake. Bacon has been a bit overplayed lately if you ask me, and has worked its way into everything, kinda like sundried tomatoes in the 80s. And for people like me who have been saving their rendered bacon fat for decades, despite the fact that people looked at me like I was the antichrist, bacon is not news.

Nonetheless, there I stood, in my kitchen at 9 at night…a woman with an idea and 24 freshly baked chocolate cupcakes. So I frosted half with a basic dark chocolate frosting and gilded the lily with chocolate sprinkles. My obligations as mom being done, I was free to play. Using a basic pastry bag and wide tip, I filled it with Fluff and squirted some up the bottom of each remaining cupcake. I then made a basic peanut butter frosting and topped each one. Then, the fun began. This time of year, two beers you’ll often find in my house are chocolate stout and cherry wheat because they make an ass-kicking black & tan. So I fried up some bacon, drained it and chopped it. I then put some chocolate stout and brown sugar in a sauté pan and let it bubble away. When it had reduced, thickened and caramelized, I tossed the bacon pieces back in and coated them. Holy crap was this stuff good! Given the shape of our economy, it might as well serve as currency if you ask me. (I apologize for the not-so-great photos, but the good digital camera was out of commission.)

My apologies for not being able to produce a recipe for this, but sometimes when inspiration takes hold, you’re kinda being guided by something outside of you that isn’t aware of the fact that you’re supposed to be taking notes for the general public. I guess my subconscious is basically telling you to piss off and figure it out for yourself. By all means, please do. But to placate those that are now salivating, I offer up my recipe for pig candy and José Andres’ recipe for caramelized pork rinds—don’t ask, just do. Thank me later.

Tagged as: bacon, baking, cupcakes