Bob Schneider
So, when I last caught you up on my mindful eating saga, I had come to the realization (and you had all lovingly empathized) that I am a tool. I almost never eat strictly out of physical hunger. Mental hunger, however—well, let’s just say I’ve got that one down pat. After another week of affirming the obvious I decided to move past page 20, and here we are. So let’s talk about a trigger. Not Roy Rogers’ noble steed, not a firing mechanism and most definitely not a sexual euphemism used by Mötley Crüe. Eating triggers. This, apparently, is the part of the book where I come to grips with the fact that, in addition to being a tool I’m apparently also a prime candidate for hypnosis because I’m so damned suggestible. Given a list of craving triggers, I was supposed to identify which of them is my one particular weakness. As you can see, this exercise didn’t do too well in defining me:
Food Characteristics: Smells, Sights and Sounds. Does smelling bacon make you want to eat it? Does looking at photos of appealing food make you want it? Does the sound of fajitas sizzling in a cast iron skillet make you crave them? Hell Yes. Check.
Activities: TV, reading, entertainment, socializing. Well, let’s see…watching Top Chef, reading Consider The Oyster, chatting about a night out at Babbo…Duh! Check.
Settings: Are you stimulated to eat more so when you are indoors or outdoors? Exactly. Check.
Events: Holidays, birthdays, parties, days off? Look, I consider washing my hair a worthy enough event to have a Yodel. Check.
Time: Breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night…do you eat simply because it’s supposed to be “time to eat”? Unless I am incapacitatingly ill, a meal is a terrible thing to waste. Check.
People: Do “permission people” or “stress people” make you want to eat (i.e. foodie friends, comfort people)? Does that include neighbors, Jehovah’s Witnesses, transients and stray dogs? If so, Check.
Words: If you read “roasted,” “grilled,” “sautéed,” “caramelized” etc. does that trigger you to be hungry? Or, perhaps “chocolate,” “porterhouse” or “french fries”? On the other hand, maybe it’s names like “Krispy Kreme,” “Haagen Dazs” or “Doritos” that do it? Is this a serious question? Check.
Weather: Inclement weather, picnic weather? How about just plain weather, ok? Check.
I’m supposed to pick ONE? One! That’s like asking 9-year-old Katie to choose between Leif Garrett, David Cassidy and Andy Gibb (or 37-year-old Katie to choose between Dave Grohl, Lenny Kravitz and Bob Schneider). I’m ashamed to say that rather than advancing a couple of chapters, I wound up dog-earing page 29, left to ponder not only why everything makes me “hungry” but, more importantly, why I give a shit. Why is it that my husband can eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream with Fluff, hot fudge and whipped cream, and then decide an hour later (with none of my paranoia) that he’d like a fucking HOT DOG, while I sit there philosophizing about the White Castles commercial that now has me in a manic state of pseudo-hunger? Hmm? Tell you what, Bob…you bring the wine, I’ll bring the trigger.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
“Are you stimulated to eat more so when you are indoors or outdoors? Exactly. Check.”
LOL
Some of us are blessed with a superb sense of smell and all 10,000 taste buds are functioning at 100%.
No shame in that.
Trying something, bear with me, thanks.
testing to see what kind of html is allowed
check, check, check, check, check, check, check and check
adds to that – going for a day at the coast – what is it about sea air… or maybe its the sweet, chips, hotdog, or sea food stalls readily available and in close proximity
and omg i want that ice cream sundae that you described above mmmmmmm
btw – Leif Garret, David Cassidy and Andy Gibb
take it u were never a Donny Osmond fan hehe!
@Linsey…the sundae was great. I should know. I ate a quarter of it despite having said “no thanks” 5 times. And no, Donny Osmond was to clean cut for me 🙂
@TWC…my sense of smell is silly sensitive. Ever get something handed to you at a restaurant and shoved near your nose instead of your mouth, and be asked, “What do ya think is in this?” 😯
nobody better be dissing Donny Osmond!
sometimes walking down the street in NYC is enough to send your hunger-libido in overdrive, especially in the warmer months when all the doors are open, you move from cultural food scents wafting their “come on in” finger right under your nose at every doorway! – now go get a snack!
xo
Don’t get me wrong, Yvette, Donny was/is cute, but I never went for cute! And you’re so right…NYC in the summertime is sensory overload. Ever walked down Arthur Ave. in the Bronx? OMG!! I don’t know what store to run into first!
i had a major crush on Donny Osmond when i was a kid – he seriously was cute!
actually hes not half bad now – he has worn the best of the brothers
then i grew up and hormonal and moved on to fancying sting and adam ant and most of the members of duran duran and spandau ballet in rotation hehe
yvette – my hunger libido went into over-drive in usa on arthur avenue – damn i wanted to have food fun there – kind of the same feeling in the harrods food halls in london – now that place is incredible!
You had me up until Spandau Ballet! 😯
When you come back to the US, we’ll definitely hit Arthur Ave. Linsey…..Easter time will be a madhouse, but that’s how we like it!
u never heard of spandau ballet or didnt like them?
guess duran duran or depeche mode where more well known in usa
ooooooh yes plz on arthur ave love too
I definitely know who Spandau Ballet was…they had their 15 minutes here (probably more like 12 – big song was “True”)…I just don’t see the attraction!!
Arthur Ave here we come!